How To Be: The Ultimate Wedding GUEST!
“Gela, I’ve been to lots of weddings, but how do I really know what the Bride & Groom expect from me? How can I be THE best guest possible??”
Ahh, yes! Times change, trends come and go- and etiquette evolves along with it. What are the rules anyway?? The “Do’s & Don’t lists” of being the best guest and really enjoying THEIR day can sometimes feel tediously long. But, in the end, taking a few moments and thinking about the outcome of a few small choices can have your couple raving over their guest list; and YOU having made memories that will last a lifetime. So where do you start? You may feel like you are especially close to the couple and that these guidelines won’t apply to you, but keep reading! We all need a refresher on what is the “In” thing, from the modern millennial couple or even the laid back bohemians, manners are always essential and in style.
First and foremost, Read the invite closely. If there isn’t a Plus One listed, you are not invited to automatically add one. This may seem a bit of an overthought from your hostess, but the truth is there may be a reason that YOU have been invited and NOT asked to bring a guest as well. The size of a venue may dictate the amount of the guest list, and let’s be fair, your favorite cousin getting married wants YOU there, but can’t invite all the nieces and nephews if you all have a SO! Be thankful you made the list and go with that. 2)The size of the overall budget may be another factor in the guests that are on the list. If you have had a wedding in the past 20 years, you know that it can be very expensive to have all your dreams on one single day come true with the dollar figure that you may have had in your savings. 3) You also may not realize that this was decided to be an adult only reception. Assuming that your sweet faced cherubs will be included are so embarrassing to you and your couple. Don’t ask, if their names are not on the invite, assume they won’t be there. Think of it as a night out and don’t stress over trying to keep Jr in his bow tie all evening!!
UH-OH! Sometimes we REALLY mean to attend, even having sent back the RSVP on time... At the last minute something happens to make your best laid plans end up…well, not so best. Knowing that the couple was hoping to spend the evening with you may come as a disappointment. “Soften the blow” by sending a note after the wedding that you were not able to be there, let them know how important they are to you, and how thankful you were to be on the guest list! (even including a monetary gift to cover that per-guest catering cost, can put you on the A-list for the next big gathering too!) It should go without saying, that you should not text, or call the wedding party on the Day-of. Let someone near them know, if you must, but don’t distract from the busy day. Even in the middle of an emergency, their day must go on! Be respectful of that and touch base later. (“Later” does not include on their honeymoon, remember they’re having special alone time, and it’s best to wait until they've returned.)
Gifts!! Everyone wants to get the couple the gift that will always be remembered, but bring it to the shower, or send it to their home ahead of time or even after the wedding! It’s a tricky thing to have gifts at the reception: Who will watch them so they don’t “walk” away? Who will help take them to the couple residence after the wedding? And so on... It’s always thoughtful to bring a gift, better to the wedding, then not at all…but think of your couple! What will be the easiest for them? After all the gift is supposed to be because you care ABOUT them!
Dress appropriately. Your sweet duo has paid a substantial amount to the Photographer for their special day and like it or not, you may end up in a few! Make sure that whatever angle you find your memory etched into eternity as, that it will be a happy one for your favorite twosome! Are jeans really ballroom attire? Even if you’re outside, there’s a certain amount of care that you can put into your appearance to show the bride and groom that you think of this occasion as momentous and worth putting a few extra moments in front of the mirror for. You’ll feel less self-conscious when you arrive in style to a crowd that’s also looking spiffy!
Do DANCE!! Enjoy the reception, do take advantage of the thought and details that the Newlyweds have put into their celebration as a thank you for being there. If its ducking into the photo booth so they have a fun picture for them to look at later, do it with style! Wear that crazy pirate hat and cheese-up for the camera! THIS is the moment for your best “blue steel” action! Remember that they can’t be everywhere the whole night and will enjoy seeing all the antics you and the cousins or besties had.
Do enjoy the bar! Just remember… that that Photographer may be lurking for a shot and you don’t want to be so tipsy from having too many shots yourself!!!
DO use the social media hashtag! It gives the couple a great place to see all the shots from the selfie-queens have to offer! Seriously though, this is a great place for the duo to see all the fun!
Last on our list is the UNPLUGGED ceremony! It’s a trend popping up everywhere, and our most requested signage form the past few years’ brides. You may say, “In like less than an hour everyone will get to see this anyways…” BUT, once again, your couple has paid a professional Photographer to do an important job. You may not realize the photo that you got-in-the-way-of was the shot that would have made the bride tear up or swoon over months later when perusing the photos. Remember that photographers come at a well-deserved pretty penny, and you want the bride to get everything she can from them! It’s no small courtesy to wait that extra hour for the reception to show the world where you are! Then, use that hashtag and shoot away!!!
With these tips you’re sure to be the best and ultimate guest!!