NO KIDS PLEASE!

"Gela, how do you not invite kids to your wedding without offending your guests?"

Let’s be real- weddings can be pricey and cutting corners at every turn is often the reason to keep kids from your big day. Or maybe you know your cousin’s children all too well, and even though you are the coolest aunt around, you don’t want them being the stars on YOUR day! And maybe, just maybe, you just aren’t a kid-person and the thought of having little humans at the biggest party you my ever throw is stressing you out! We get it, whatever the reason is, weddings are often not the ideal place for kids, and it’s just one more stress and expense. But how do you let everyone know without being that bride?? 

There are sensitive ways to invite your guest and make it clear that it is an Adult-Only event, that they will enjoy AND so will you!

First, you can make things clear from the get go in your invitations that you are including only adults by simply writing the adults names on the envelopes and repeating it inside where the RSVP will be. These steps can be tricky and can be ignored by your guest as well. This is where you need to decide if it is the “sword to die on” or if it means that the guests that you want to celebrate with you will come at all. Since some guests may ignore these markers, make sure that you let your planner know the trouble that you are having. This is where you have your planner step in and be able to help talk to your guests in a gentle way that will make them still come and celebrate. After all, who doesn’t want to have a night out when you have plenty of time to get a sitter!

Somewhere on the invite it should be worded that there are no children at the reception by saying something direct, like:

·        Adults Only

·        Adult wedding and reception

·        Please respect the wishes of the “New Couple” for a child-free reception

·        Invite extended to adults only
 

Even though this can straight to the point, being this straightforward can feel rude to some guests. Relying on your Planner can help displace the strain and still get you the results you are looking for.

Something like this may convey the message more gently:

·        We are wanting everyone present to have an enjoyable evening of relaxation. We ask that the reception is for adults only.

·        Wedding ceremony followed by adult only reception.

Another tip we highly recommend is that on the RSVP, when asked how many will be in attendance you fill out a section that says how many will be in attendance having written in the number yourself based on how many adults are invited with that specific invite For example, Aunt Jean and Unce Don have 4 kids, so you simply list only their names on the invitation and envelope. Then on the RSVP you could have it listed as “2 adults” and then a check box for “will attend” “will not attend”. By filling in how many guests total are specifically invited it makes the message clear that even though 6 people live at that address, only 2 adults are invited.

Another option you have is to hire a sitter for the event on behalf of your guests. Some reception spaces have additional rooms on site where you could have childcare available to drop your child off at. This should be made clear on your invitation, as well. “Complimentary childcare will be available for all guests 12 and under at such and such a location”. The message is clear that you’ve taken the time and money to supply a sitter for your guests. You could include this information as a separate insert in your envelopes.

We also recommend hiring a babysitter on care.com or another childcare hiring site and allowing the children to be watched at a family member’s home. You could list on your invitation that childcare will be available at that location if they let you know in advance.

One area that adult-only weddings can get tricky is for destination weddings, or when you are holding your wedding at a location far from your guests. Remember that it may come down to choosing whether to restrict children or to miss out on having some guests in attendance. Nurisng moms, or those with young children may not be able to spend a whole weekend (or longer) away from their little ones. The choice is yours, and you Planner will be there to back you up whichever at you choose- but this knowledge is a good reminder. 

One area we like to recommend you allowing a child to attend is when you've asked them to play a role in the wedding (ring bearer, jr. bridesmaid, etc). It's considered a courtesy to have them in attendance to all of the festivities as a small thank you for the part they've played in your day. 

All of these steps are for your comfort, and your guests. No one wants to be embarrassed by an etiquette faux pas, and no one wants to miss out on having a close friend to witness such a big life moment by staying at home due to being offended or because they didn’t feel like there was another option.

Remember if your guest still insists on bringing their little ones, again, your Planner should make the caterer be aware as the price and choices are often different for children. In the end, you will look back on your day and you will be happier that your guests were happy and that they didn’t miss out.

After all, the little things will be even more little when you are on the other side of your day!